I'm sorry

She could see him see her through the crack of her barely opened eyes; he was staring at her intently. Should I wake up and startle him or do I go on with this charade till he leaves, his train is in an hour after all Sowmya thought. She switched sides while scratching herself suddenly, a trick she always deployed while pretending to be asleep. (Show the right number of movements and the interested party will think you're having a disturbed sleep and will go away.) After what seemed like minutes later, but actually an hour, Sowmya woke up to find him at the door with a grey-blue backpack on his shoulders, a plastic cover with food for the train journey and a duffel bag with neatly pressed clothes, all double checked by his mother and dutifully triple checked by his wife (on his mother's insistence). Sunanda was on the sofa lazily flipping through channels while keeping an eye on her father who was ready to leave. Sowmya emerged from her room yawning wildly and stumbling all the same.

"OK I'm off," he said.

"Bye pa," chorused Sowmya and Sunanda. "Please call me when you reach the..." the girls' mother's voice trailed off. It was drowned in her mother-in-law's shrill tone. "Check again for your train tickets, eat on time, call us, when will you hear about your transfer, should I ask my brother in Delhi to help you?" the matriarch went on, oblivious to everything around her.

"I will take care. You please take care of your health," he said while bending down to touch her feet. He smiled at his wife, "I'll call, bye." She smiled, she was used to this. Sunanda's attention went back to the television, Sowmya was searching for her glasses. "Thud" went the door and what followed was silence. Not the pleasant kind but an empty, lonely one. Upset that she couldn't find her glasses, Sowmya went back to sleep.

----

She woke up with a start. Squinting her eyes, Sowmya looked around to see blurry images of people around her talking in hushed tones. Irritably she yelled for her mother only to be hugged by Sunanda.

"What happened, why are you hugging me this early in the morning," Sowmya asked. Sunanda just remained silent. "What is it? Is it appa, did something happen again? TELL ME," she exclaimed.

"Appa met with an accident Sowmee. But it's nothing serious so go back to sleep," Sunanda pleaded.

Sowmya tried to speak but for some reason she found that she couldn't. Lips were moving but she couldn't hear herself. "OK where is he now? Still in Hyderabad?" Sowmya questioned. Sunanda just nodded, adding that he was all right now and that amma was flying there in an hour.

"Su, how did this happen," Sowmya asked. Sunanda paused for a while as if gathering all the strength in the world to give her company to narrate the story. "He was on his way to work, on his motorbike when a guy tried crossing the road. But Sowmee, appa is always careful na. He saw this guy yet still almost ran him over!" exclaimed Sunanda huskily. "It was like something was on his mind, maybe he was still upset about..." Sunanda stopped abruptly realizing that Sowmya had understood what was going on.

Running out of the room, Sowmya searched for her mother. It wasn't too late, she could still squeeze in an apology. "Sowmee, amma has left. Look at the time. They'll be back in two days, please stop pacing around. It's not your fault," Sunanda cried. Sowmya, giving up after a while, sat down and stared in front of her.

"They'll be back soon, you can apologize then. There's plenty of time," smiled Sunanda.

----

Four months. She stirred her coffee briskly, went back to the other three cups. Apologize? Never, Sowmya thought. The first sentence that came out of his mouth was, "It is time for you to get married before I die." How could she apologize to a man who was bent upon fixing her marriage to a person she didn't know? How could she apologize when that was what they fought about in the first place? Sowmya thought that they could sit down, have a conversation about her life and come to a conclusion amicably when he returned. But her father was determined to make it a monologue, a short one with a curt ending. Never, never, never, she whispered. And now the guy's family were arriving in 10 minutes and she had to carry cups of coffee and serve them. How humiliating for a women's studies major.

And after a whirlwind hour, it was done. Her wedding was fixed. With a twist she never expected! Her father actually talked to her boyfriend and made it happen. Before she could even apologize, he did something that made her want to thank him. Suddenly she couldn't breathe. People were hugging her too tight. Too much happiness, she thought. "This isn't going to last Su," she yelled. "Oh shut up, why must you be so negative," demanded a visibly excited Sunanda.

----

Flipping by the pages of what looked like a new diary, Sowmya wondered if her father had ever used it. "Sowmee didn't we give this to him for Father's Day a long time back? Looks like he's kept it safe na," commented Sunanda. Sowmya nodded, there was nothing she could say anymore. Especially not her overdue forgotten apology.

Sunanda relieved her of the diary for sometime while she went through appa's other belongings. "Sowmee look! Look what appa has done. I think it's for you though," Sunanda screamed. God, no one can yell like Su, thought Sowmya.

Right there in the middle, where the pins held the pages together, were photos of her and Sunanda smiling awkwardly. And below the photos was a line in her appa's neat handwriting "I'm sorry".
 
Sowmya could only feel Sunanda hugging her tightly as she drenched the diary in her tears.

Love actually

It was these three tumultuous days leading up to the greatest event of her life she would never forget. Or the months before that. Rukmini would have such dreams that disturbed her very existence. She looked outside the window and at the moon for comfort. But as she searched the dark skies she couldn't find it. Realising that it was Amavaasai (new moon) she turned back. Bathed in darkness, the room would offer her solace for now. As tears rolled down her face, Rukmini looked back into those five months that changed her life.

Five months of pure ecstasy.

It was in Shekar anna and Gowri manni's wedding that she met him. Armed with a dazzling smile and a ready answer to everyone's question, he captured her heart the moment she set her eyes on him. Wearing a peacock blue kurta that highlighted his eyes, only helped the cause. 'Such gorgeous dimples,' she thought.

"Sorry, did you talk to me?" he asked.

Not realising she had actually thought aloud, she cringed. "Uh no I was umm.." Silence.

He flashed his brilliant smile again. She gazed into his eyes and smiled sheepishly.

"Would you like to have some filter coffee with me? It's the best I can offer now!"

"Not if we team it up with some pongal and vadai," she said, finally finding her voice that surprised herself.

Laughing aloud he lead her to the dining area. Talking with small mouthfuls of food, she kept glancing at him. Catching her in the act, he smiled dashingly.

"Why do you keep looking at me from the corner of your eye?" he queried smilingly.

"Um, what are you talking about, I'm just concentrating on my food." she defended.

He bared his teeth and smiled knowingly at her. She was taken by him and how! Quickly they finished their meal in silence. Slowly sipping coffee, he said.

"How would you like to go out with me sometime?"

Choking on her hot coffee Rukmini replied, "What? I don't even know your name, let alone going out with you!" She knew in her heart though, all she wanted to say was just an emphatic yes. But it seemed her mind had taken a path of its own.

Grinning he replied, "My name is Govind. And before I forget what's yours?" He asked with such an ease, he was certainly not stumbling for words.

"Rukmini" she replied abashed.

"Rukmini," he repeated. "Has a nice ring to it, one of my favourite names. So you never answered my question properly, come on now."

"Er I would...." she broke off as she heard a voice through the crowd calling out her name.

"Rukki, enga di irukka?" It was her mother who had been frantically searching for her.

"Amma, inga vaa!" she called out, eyes seeking out to her. Her mother came up to her and said, "Shekar anna unna thedara, po poi congratulate pannu. Apdiye rendu vaartha pesitu vaa," her mum urged.

Before she could greet Govind, he remarked, "Hello aunty, I would like to marry your daughter. My appa had shown me Rukki's photo and I'm very taken by her and I'm guessing she by me."

Rukmini's mother was flabbergasted to say the least. The nerve this boy had, she thought. "Erm Govind, what does your appa say? And amma? Do they think my Rukki is a good match for you?" she ventured.

Govind merely eyeballed her; his future mother-in-law who would come to be quite a handful. "Sigh, yes aunty they love her to bits, I mean the usual amount. Plus she can cook," he added, knowing that would please her. He was right, she flashed a toothy grin. Govind, meanwhile, was watching a struggling Rukki congratulate Shekar and at the same time giving him coy looks.

Before Govind and Rukki could look back, five months had passed by. Five months of pure marital bliss. And Bangalore during the monsoon for honeymoon. What more could she ask for, really? Walking hand in hand down the road, reliving those moments that flashed by her eyes. And just like that, Govind. She was back in the dark.

---

"Why did you finish Govind's character in the book? I thought you loved him," questioned Jessie. "Unfinished business, eh?"

Gowri just stared back at her friend. "If I don't get him, no one does. At least in my story she doesn't," she said and snapped her book shut. Somewhere else Rukmini was hiccuping.