Things

Crushes make you feel excited, all tingly inside. Whereas love makes you feel miserable, like you're falling into a bottomless pit. But only because you know someone is there to catch you.

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You know when you over think things, they don't happen. For example, there's this one thing you've really wished for in your life. Really wished it would happen, so much that you lie down at night with the thoughts consuming you. But it doesn't. At the same time a second thing begins, slowly but steadily. And you are unaware of it, innocently thinking and dreaming about the first thing. But slowly you put together the pieces of the second thing and it seems to be more than just a mere coincidence. Soon the second thing takes over your life and you find that you are distracted, miserable and lonely. Sitting alone, listening to music and rolling your eyes at the ceiling has become a way of life. Now you want the second thing to happen because it looks perfect. On paper, in reality. The universe has other plans though. It slowly tries to make the first thing happen. Or at least that's what it looks like. But what if the first thing was never meant to be? And what if the universe is trying to lure you away from the second thing, which could be IT, by making the first thing look real. Only it isn't. It doesn't feel real.

What's meant to be, what isn't? What's real and what isn't? What's the problem really?

It's just you over thinking it.

Love actually

It was these three tumultuous days leading up to the greatest event of her life she would never forget. Or the months before that. Rukmini would have such dreams that disturbed her very existence. She looked outside the window and at the moon for comfort. But as she searched the dark skies she couldn't find it. Realising that it was Amavaasai (new moon) she turned back. Bathed in darkness, the room would offer her solace for now. As tears rolled down her face, Rukmini looked back into those five months that changed her life.

Five months of pure ecstasy.

It was in Shekar anna and Gowri manni's wedding that she met him. Armed with a dazzling smile and a ready answer to everyone's question, he captured her heart the moment she set her eyes on him. Wearing a peacock blue kurta that highlighted his eyes, only helped the cause. 'Such gorgeous dimples,' she thought.

"Sorry, did you talk to me?" he asked.

Not realising she had actually thought aloud, she cringed. "Uh no I was umm.." Silence.

He flashed his brilliant smile again. She gazed into his eyes and smiled sheepishly.

"Would you like to have some filter coffee with me? It's the best I can offer now!"

"Not if we team it up with some pongal and vadai," she said, finally finding her voice that surprised herself.

Laughing aloud he lead her to the dining area. Talking with small mouthfuls of food, she kept glancing at him. Catching her in the act, he smiled dashingly.

"Why do you keep looking at me from the corner of your eye?" he queried smilingly.

"Um, what are you talking about, I'm just concentrating on my food." she defended.

He bared his teeth and smiled knowingly at her. She was taken by him and how! Quickly they finished their meal in silence. Slowly sipping coffee, he said.

"How would you like to go out with me sometime?"

Choking on her hot coffee Rukmini replied, "What? I don't even know your name, let alone going out with you!" She knew in her heart though, all she wanted to say was just an emphatic yes. But it seemed her mind had taken a path of its own.

Grinning he replied, "My name is Govind. And before I forget what's yours?" He asked with such an ease, he was certainly not stumbling for words.

"Rukmini" she replied abashed.

"Rukmini," he repeated. "Has a nice ring to it, one of my favourite names. So you never answered my question properly, come on now."

"Er I would...." she broke off as she heard a voice through the crowd calling out her name.

"Rukki, enga di irukka?" It was her mother who had been frantically searching for her.

"Amma, inga vaa!" she called out, eyes seeking out to her. Her mother came up to her and said, "Shekar anna unna thedara, po poi congratulate pannu. Apdiye rendu vaartha pesitu vaa," her mum urged.

Before she could greet Govind, he remarked, "Hello aunty, I would like to marry your daughter. My appa had shown me Rukki's photo and I'm very taken by her and I'm guessing she by me."

Rukmini's mother was flabbergasted to say the least. The nerve this boy had, she thought. "Erm Govind, what does your appa say? And amma? Do they think my Rukki is a good match for you?" she ventured.

Govind merely eyeballed her; his future mother-in-law who would come to be quite a handful. "Sigh, yes aunty they love her to bits, I mean the usual amount. Plus she can cook," he added, knowing that would please her. He was right, she flashed a toothy grin. Govind, meanwhile, was watching a struggling Rukki congratulate Shekar and at the same time giving him coy looks.

Before Govind and Rukki could look back, five months had passed by. Five months of pure marital bliss. And Bangalore during the monsoon for honeymoon. What more could she ask for, really? Walking hand in hand down the road, reliving those moments that flashed by her eyes. And just like that, Govind. She was back in the dark.

---

"Why did you finish Govind's character in the book? I thought you loved him," questioned Jessie. "Unfinished business, eh?"

Gowri just stared back at her friend. "If I don't get him, no one does. At least in my story she doesn't," she said and snapped her book shut. Somewhere else Rukmini was hiccuping.

One of those yawn days which gave rise to a story. Couldn't think of a title, if anyone out there reads my posts and you have a suitable title, do drop a message!
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She tossed her umbrella sideways and turned, he was calling out her name. She stopped and stared.

“I thought I asked you not to follow me! Go home,” she urged. He looked into her eyes, she felt herself melting under his gaze.

“I can’t go home without you,” he said. “I need you right now.”

Finally, she thought. “You agree that you can’t be without me even for a minute,” she smirked. He jerked his forward pointedly in reply.

“Is that your way of saying yes,” she asked and smiled triumphantly.

He grinned widely and said, “You have the house keys and my wallet. If you pass them here I can get going.”

She half-opened her mouth in surprise and threw the keys at him. Folding her umbrella, she ran towards him and hugged him tight.

Because he loved her

Her lashes blinked rapidly. As she looked at the rain-stained window, two raindrops were racing each other, "racing against time," she thought. She shook her head and went back to work. He was here again to oversee his subordinates. "Always here," she muttered. She watched him with complete annoyance as he walked here and there, cracking jokes and laughing with his head thrown back. How was it that people always surrounded him? And how does he talk to everyone? Why do they all talk to him? Questions ran through her head, she felt dizzy and sat down. "As long as he doesn't interfere with my work I'm content." As she finished muttering to herself, he stood right before her with a questioning glance. 

-"Where is the article you were supposed to hand in two days ago?"

- "It's on your table. I finished it a day earlier."

- "Oh. I couldn't find it then, make another copy and give it to me right away."

- "Why don't you search for it, in any case I don't want to waste paper." (Did I say waste paper, god that is the worst comeback ever!)

- "Those environment-friendly types you are? You can worry about saving the planet from tomorrow, right now I want the article."

- "Fine, I'll give it to you but after that I'm going home."

He watched her move around quickly to the printer. He stared at her fixedly and made no attempt to hide his amusement at her clumsiness. Laughing pointedly, he addressed her, "God! I've seen enough. Here, let me do it." As he pulled the paper out of the printer, she watched with irritation. "This is how you print an article," he remarked. Grabbing the paper out of his hand, she hurriedly wrote her name and gave it to him. "I have to leave now, if there's anything else you have to tell me give me a call. My number is on the desk."

Still staring at her, he took the paper and grinned at her. "Sure I'll give you a call," he called back after her. She walked on ignoring him. He stared happily. 

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Sitting down with a cup of hot chocolate and a book she felt relieved to be sitting inside her house, away from the cold rain. She was disturbed by her phone vibrating. Looking over her book she recognised the number as his. She picked the phone with a sense of trepidation. Wondering what he might want, she casually said:

- "Hello, who is this?"

- "So you don't recognise my voice now."

- "Oh it's you. What do you want?"

- "You asked me to call if there's anything else and so I did."

- "And what is it?"

- "I love you, always have, always will. Watching you print that article today only made me fall for you even more."

Silent tears at her end.

- "Are you there? Did I scare you away? Hello, hello"

- "Yes I am. Just wondering."

- "Why I love you? I have a thousand reasons..."

- "No. Why it took you so long to admit it."

Laughter at his end.